This has been a year of transitions for us. I started the school year in a new grade and at a new school, and Justin recently accepted a staff position at our church. The past several weeks have felt like a juggling act, trying to balance each area of my life. I have tried to be a perfect wife, perfect teacher, perfect pastor’s wife, perfect friend, and in that attempt, I have come short in each area.
I rely on checklists and schedules too much when I’m stressed. When I’m not certain how to balance, I just do and plan to create a sense of accomplishment. Everything is black and white, and “perfection” means that all my boxes are checked.
This past week, thankfully, the Spirit reminded me of what His desires for me are in each area. Relationships are everything, and in my stack of lists, time carved out for just that was non-existent. The things that bring me the most joy and that are most effective for the Kingdom were not taking priority.
In a few of the roles I play, these have been my reminders:
Wife: Journey Church’s 14 Day Prayer Challenge has come at the perfect time. Setting aside purposeful time with Justin to go through scripture and pray together has been great for our marriage. To be the “perfect” wife, I need to foster our relationship and allow Justin to lead us spiritually.
Teacher: It’s taking me a while to get used to first grade. Justin and I did home visits before school started, but I hadn’t done any since. Friday, though, I visited a girl in my class and her family welcomed me with open arms and hearts. That visit served as a reminder that to be the “perfect” teacher I need to invest time with my students and their families.
Pastor’s Wife: In the midst of school, we haven’t had teens over lately. This weekend, it was so fun to have our living room full of youth. Hosting teens and letting our home be a safe place for them has grown to be one of my favorite things. To be the “perfect” pastor’s wife I need to open up our home for teens and their families.
Friend: Having missional community this past week served for much needed fellowship. I enjoy spending time with other couples but too often begin to think about sleep and preparing for the next day that I spend more time looking at my watch. To be the “perfect” friend I need to invite others to do life alongside me, not concerning myself as much with the time.
Balancing the roles we play is less about “perfection” and more about relationships. If none of my boxes for the day are checked but God has been glorified in my conversations, then I have accomplished what is most important.